Ahead of the Cambridges’ trip to India and Bhutan, the Daily Mail has run another passive aggressive – some would say “negging” – story about the Duchess of Cambridge. This piece reminded me so much of the piece from a few weeks ago, all about how Kate has become “more regal” than the royals. The point of the new article is that Kate is lovely… but frumpy, unstylish, insecure, and mutton dressed as lamb. While I agree with the main thesis – that Kate is in desperate need of a real stylist – the piece does feel nitpicky and mean. Here are some of the rudest/funniest lines:
“She’s got beauty, glamour and classiness; so why, then, is Kate such an incorrigible frump?”
The polka-dotted Saloni dress: “On Kate, though, it looks about as tasty as a wet scone. Everything, from her trademark demure Princess-on-Parade stance — fixed smile, hands clasped in front — to her hair, falling in loose curls around her shoulders, and the prissy court shoes poking out from beneath the skirt hem, conspires to turn what ought to be a style triumph into something that resembles a Seventies sewing pattern.”
“Kate is, quite simply, style kryptonite. Of course, her innate wholesomeness is part of the Duchess’s appeal, and no one wants the wife of a future king to be an air-headed fashion obsessive.”
“Seriously, you could put that girl in Versace’s infamous safety pin dress — as worn by Liz Hurley — and she’d still make it look frumpy.”
“Because, for all her beauty and charm, there is one thing Kate does not yet possess — and I stress ‘yet’ — and that’s style.”
Kate is “unsure of herself”: “It’s as though — whatever she wears — she is anxiously trying to preserve the image of the jolly, dimple-cheeked university undergraduate she was when they first met, all pussy-bows and Boden, fearful still, perhaps, that if she deviates from a tried-and-tested formula he might once more turn his back on her as he did at the start of their relationship. But things are different now. She’s earned her place in the Royal Family. It’s time to exorcise the ghost of Waity Katie.”
“So, Kate, please. Stop it now with the schoolgirl hair, the submissive air and the stiff standing on ceremony….Otherwise — however stylish the designs you wear — you’ll only have yourself to blame if you go down in history as the Duchess of Drab.”
I will give the author (Sarah Vine) some credit: she put her finger on something that has always nagged at me, which is that Kate often looks simultaneously frumpy/matronly AND twee. Like, she’s aiming for college co-ed and somehow it looks like something that should be on 60-something grandmother. Anyway, I do think Kate should work with a real stylist. I also think she could work on her body language (the crotch clutching and hair fussing needs to stop). And the hair/makeup is just a nightmare. And I think it’s very “interesting” that this piece was published just before William and Kate begin their big royal tour, which will feature all of these expensive new outfits for Kate. Personally, I’m expecting not only “homages” to Diana, but some extra Lady Mary cosplay.
The Daily Mail also had a piece about how Carole Middleton is going to be “babysitting” George and Charlotte during the Cambridges’ tour. Didn’t we already know that? Nanny Maria will be around to help, of course. I bet Carole will enjoy this break from babysitting William and Kate, honestly.
Photos courtesy of Getty, Fame/Flynet, WENN.
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